pkemeter | Victory Road IC Inbox

Glad to see that's one thing that has remained consistent between Venkmans.

Venkmen?

Hm.

Venkmans, I think

[And that was probably meant to be the end of the messages, because Venkman doesn't say anything else for about 15 minutes. Then:]

uhh spengs

Help

[After a minute, he sends an extremely blurry picture of a sickly-looking winter Deerling curled up on the ground. Due to the image quality, it's hard to tell for certain, but its fur appears singed.]

Oh.

That looks. Bad.

Is there any sign of the mother nearby? I doubt you would want to get between a deer and its offspring, unless you like being gored. If it evolves into what would resemble our dimension's deer, I mean.

[There's a significant pause before--]

Do you have a potion

i dont know

heard it yelling from the bushes and one of those fire horses ran off when i got near

i dont see any other deer in the area?

[There's a few seconds of silence, then-]

i have a couple in my bag but its trying to back awauy from me

ity keeps falling over thoguh

[this man can't cake care of a child and now you're asking him for advice on an injured deer???]

I wouldn't advise this under ordinary circumstances, but maybe an offering of food would be able to tide it over.

At least, close enough for you to apply the potion.

[Listen it was either Egon or Ray, and he still had Egon's inbox open.]

ok

hold on actually

[He starts a video call, just to make this a bit easier on himself. Venkman doesn't want to keep dropping everything to type at Egon. He's currently crouched on the ground, trying not to make any sudden movements.

The camera focuses on the Deerling, which bleats in distress and tries to stand. Its legs wobble, and it flops back down in the scorched grass. It looks over at Venkman again, eyes bulging slightly and mouth parted open as it pants nervously.]

Ok, ok. Hey. Hey, it's alright. I'm not gonna hurt ya.

[He lowers his voice to a nervous, rushed whisper directed at Egon.]

I don't know what food I have on me that a deer might eat. I've got some of the generic Pokemon food stuff, but I don't wanna just toss that at it, it might think I'm trying to hurt it. And it's sure as hell not gonna eat outta the palm of my hand.

Do you think I should try letting out one of my other Pokemon, see if they can help it calm down? I don't want it to try running off, I dunno what'll happen to it if I can't find it again in the woods.

[Egon blinks when the video call connects--he's in the Pokécenter break room with Kölliker peering curiously at the screen. He figured that Faraday wasn't too interested in medicine, but Kölliker would greatly benefit from being able to tap into many other people's minds.

...Anyways, the important matter at hand is the Deerling. He tries to keep his voice quiet, making sure that the new sound won't startle it.]

It appears that it is incredibly stressed, which is understandable given its condition and unfamiliar new stimuli. I would suggest slowly taking a few steps back before allowing another Pokémon to approach.

...As the deer has been burned, I doubt your cat will do much besides aggravate it. Your isopod or Bond are probably your best bets, given that neither make any sudden movements.

[The camera shuffles around a bit as Venkman moves back, holding his free hand up in a nonthreatening gesture. The Deerling flinches, but tentatively relaxes back into position lying on the ground.]

Yeah. Not gonna try the cat or Bond, since they've both got fire- and Bond'd probably try to attack it. The ostrich is out of its containment unit over behind me, but I think calling it over would scare it off.

[Very slowly, he reaches over to a Pokeball at his side.]

Ooook. Don't worry, little guy. The only thing Roach could do to you is chew on you, and I'm pretty sure he only wants to chew on me.

[There's a brief flash of red light, and the Deerling bleats again in surprise. The light fades, and there's now a Wimpod on the ground, wiggling its antennae curiously. It looks at Venkman, confused.]

Hey, Roach. Do me a favor and tell this deer we're not gonna hurt it, alright? Can you do that?

[Roach looks at the Deerling, then back to Venkman, and seems to nod, trilling to itself.]

[Egon leans forward a bit, raising an eyebrow. He doesn't want to interrupt what's going on, so he just mutters to himself--]

Fascinating. The isopod also understands human speech. Wonder if this is a learned trait or demonstrates the natural intelligence of Pokémon.

[Kölliker peers at the screen and makes a quiet burbling noise. For some reason, Spengler winces.]

Yes, yes, thank you.

[Meanwhile, Roach darts forward, making little purring noises and wiggling its antennae again in a friendly manner. The Deerling leans away from it and bleats again. Roach creeps a little closer.

The Deerling stumbles to its feet and raises one forelimb, and the Wimpod squeaks and takes a few nervous steps back as the Deerling prepares to stomp down-

And then it falls over again. This time, it doesn't even raise its head.

Cautious, now, Roach steps forward again, crawling onto the Deerling's side. The Deerling's eyes roll over to stare at him for a moment, before unfocusing to stare at the sky. It huffs once through its nose. It's resigned to its fate.

Roach's little tail wags excitedly as it glances back at Venkman. Look! It helped!]

Yeah, ok, great job, little guy-

[Venkman's praise is brief and unfocused as he digs through his bag for a Potion, but the Wimpod soaks it up anyway, trilling.]

[Egon watches the scene unfold quietly, tapping a finger against his chin. He doesn't even react when the Deerling falls over.]

Be careful, Peter. It can still kick while it's lying down. I would urge you to be cautious when you approach. Ask Roach to continue to keep it calm.

[Caution? From Spengler?]

It could be that it is suffering from burning. It that case, I would recommend you seek out a Pokémon center immediately.

[Venkman just like. Stops everything for a moment.]

Spengs, the fact that you're telling me to be careful is freaking me out more than anything else.

... Yeah, of course it's suffering from burns. Its fur is all burnt.

[He didn't read up on anything about status conditions.

Nevertheless, he inches closer, trying to move slowly enough that he doesn't freak it out again. The Deerling doesn't try to get up, at least.]

Alright. Hey. I'm gonna use this thing- [He waves the Potion in its line of sight.] -and spray it on your injuries. I don't think it'll hurt, and it should make you feel better. Ok? So don't freak out.

[Venkman sets the Pokegear down gently- angling it so Spengler can more or less see what's going on. He looks nervous- look, he was never a medical doctor, and he sure as hell isn't a veterinarian. But he looks over the Deerling, brushing his hands through its fur to get a better idea of where the injuries are. It bleats quietly when he first touches it, but Roach makes soothing noises until it calms back down.

Once he's figured out which areas need attention the most, he sprays them down- the Deerling kicks out briefly at the initial sting, but manages to miss Venkman entirely, and it calms back down after a moment.]

[The corner of his mouth twitches upwards.]

Of course, but certain attacks can have lingering effects on both Pokémon and people. For example, Doppler has a potent bite that can leave his opponents poisoned.

[And Egon, for that matter. He watches as Venkman tends to the Deerling's wounds, and...doesn't...bother yelling out when Venkman almost gets kicked by the Pokémon. He blinks, frowning.]

It could be that the Ponytas have an attack that leave a Pokémon burned. I would suggest holding it carefully so that it cannot kick you. Is its fur still singed? If that is the case, you should think about putting it in a containment unit for now so you can quickly transport it to the nearest Pokémon center.

So that's why your hand looked so terrible on New Years. How long does the effect hang around?

Containment unit's not a bad idea. I think we're still... At least a few hours from the nearest city, and that's if I get that ostrich to hurry. I don't wanna carry a deer that whole time.

Alright, little guy. I'm gonna grab something from my bag- it's not gonna hurt ya.

[Venkman half turns to dig through the main pocket in the bag, taking his eyes off the Deerling for the moment. Unfortunately, by partially healing the Deerling, he's allowed it to get some of its strength back.

You know where this is going.

As far as kicks go, it's not as bad as it could've been, since the Deerling is still lying on its side with a giant isopod sitting on top of it. But Venkman still doubles over, wheezing from the impact to his gut.]

MOTHERFUCKER!

[The Deerling appears startled by the shout, but only manages to stumble when it tries to run away. It bleats again.]

Yeah, yeah, you have- no right to complain. That hurt, you ungrateful little bastard. [He sucks in a breath, feeling at his stomach where the hoof nailed him.] Little higher up and you could've cracked my ribs, and then where would we be? Both of us stranded in the woods together, relying on the kindness of the ostrich to see if they'd drag us to a center or abandon us to die.

[Venkman finally finds a Pokeball, and looks at the Deerling, unimpressed.]

Alright. You're going in this thing, and you're not gonna give me any trouble about it. Because otherwise I have to hold you for the next god-knows-how-long. And you don't want that.

[He clicks the latch on the Pokeball, and the red light flashes, enveloping the Deerling, who bleats in concern and tries to back away. It disappears into the ball, and Venkman glares at it as it wriggles back and forth.]

[Egon winces slightly when Venkman gets kicked in the stomach.]

I warned you. [A pause as he glances over his shoulder towards Kölliker, who has apparently taken immense interest in what is happening onscreen.] Please do not swear in front of the children.

[It's...not like he can attempt to cover her ears when she literally doesn't have ears.]

Nevertheless, excellent. Perhaps you have a future as a Pokémon rehabilitator. [The corner of his mouth twitches upwards.] Are you sure you're all set for money? You'll need new supplies eventually. I can send you some when the paycheck comes through.

[It's nice not having to rely on client availability for your income for a change.]

Oh, my bad, Spengs, for swearing in front of the embryo when I just got hit in the stomach. This is how Houdini died, you know.

[The Pokeball finally stops wriggling and makes a quiet "click" noise. Venkman sighs in relief, putting the Pokeball down and rubbing his face with one hand. After a moment, he picks the Pokegear up so he can see Egon again.]

Yeah, yeah. I still don't want to get a job, but I guess it could be useful.

[At least basic knowledge of Pokemon medicine and restraint would be a world of help right now.]

... I would maybe kind of appreciate that. Yeah. Thanks.

[He had plans to con a hotel or inn into letting him stay the night but now he's got an injured baby deer to worry about, throwing an added wrench in his plans.]

...I thought Houdini had died from either appendicitis. Or after he was forcibly taken by several malevolent spirits that disliked him tampering with their work.

[He inclines his head towards the camera, frowning a little bit.]

I'm sorry, the signal here seems somewhat weak. Do you mind repeating that again?

[It's absolutely impossible to tell if he genuinely is asking Venkman to repeat himself or is just holding it over Venkman's head right now.]

Houdini had this thing about having a stomach of iron and being able to take any blow. But some idiot gut-punched him when he was lying down and unprepared, and it aggravated his appendicitis to the point of killing him.

[Egon has his fungus knowledge. Venkman has circus, carnival, and magician-themed trivia. Obviously, they're equally useful.]

He didn't die because of ghosts, but we did have to deal with his ghost, once. Uh, with the other Egon.

... I said I'd appreciate it. You dick.

Oh?

[The smallest hint of a smile can be seen on Spengler's face.]

In that case, I will send you about six thousand Pokédollars next Friday. Hopefully, that should be enough to last you until you get to Saffron City.

...However, I am intrigued by this information. How on Earth did you manage to determine that the ghost was, in fact, Houdini's, and not another ghost impersonating him?

[ghost identity theft is a thing probably]

Thanks, Egie. Love ya.

[He says it a little too fast and dismissively, but he means it.]

I guess he didn't really look much like Houdini, but he only manifested when some two-bit poser magician stole his stuff for his own act. Plus, he could escape the ghost traps.

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