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[Excuse you, Venkman is entirely motivated by non-bastard reasons. Definitely]

Hey, Dr. Spengler, you can stop the cake autopsy any time now. And there's plenty to "speak about on the matter". Don't you usually like it when I ask questions and provide actual feedback about your experiments? You got a reason for clamming up right now, Egie?

[Egon stops taking apart the cake. But he still doesn't look up at either of them. He rests the fork on the plate and folds his hands together, appearing oddly contemplative.

After an uncomfortable pause, he says--]

Perhaps we should speak some more about your experiences.

[That's...all.]

[Should he be concerned? He feels concerned.]

... Spengs, did something happen? You can tell us; we’re here for you.

[There's a part of Venkman that's concerned, too, even though his gut tells him it's not anything genuinely horrible. Just something Egon finds embarrassing and is reluctant to talk about.]

Is it something you don't wanna say out loud in public?

[He thinks it over for a moment. And then, like another version of himself before him, Venkman tries to make a joke- in this case to cut the tension.]

C'mon, it's not like you were sleepin' with it, were you?

[God help us.]

[Now that gets Spengler to react. His hand jerks and causes his fork to clatter against his plate. His face turns a distinct shade of red as he clears his throat and looks away from both of them.

There's your answer, Venkman.]

[At first, Ray is concerned by that reaction. Since he was slightly worried that something bad happened during the experiment, he couldn’t help but take his reaction as a bad sign. What did it mean? What could have been so bad that-

And then the joke Venkman made hits him and it clicks.]

Oh.

[And then-]

Did I-?

[Ray quickly cuts himself off, however, because he realizes that there no graceful way to say “HEY DID I WATCH YOU FUCK SLIME?!”]

[There is a long, long moment of silence as Venkman accurately interprets every single detail of Egon's reaction.]

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

[And then, he looks at Ray, grinning like an idiot.]

Didn't even take me a week, Ray, how about that for efficiency?

[And then, back to Egon-]

Ok, so, give us the details. Was the other Ray there when this happened? I need to know if I can hold this over both of you, or just you.

[This is Christmas morning for him rn he is delighted]

Edited 2019-02-06 03:55 (UTC)

[While all of this is happening, Egon just sort of starts sliding down in his seat ever so slowly, still refusing to meet either of their eyes. The only thing he can think of right now is how glad he is that he decided against allowing Kölliker out of her containment unit for this particular date.

After a brief pause, he finally manages to mutter out a single sentence that is barely audible--]

He-- [He clears his throat.] He was, yes.

[Please let him die]

[Now it’s Ray’s turn to turn a dark shade of red.]

H-hey, wait a minute, what-?

[This is how he dies.]

[This is the best moment of Venkman's god damn life

He is trying so hard not to just lose it in this restaurant- he's shaking from trying to keep himself from laughing.]

Ok. Ok. Ok.

With the other Ray, are we talking scientific observation or active participation.

[Egon's practically halfway hidden by the table at this point. His face is an impressive shade of red.]

Ray--Ah, my dimension's version of Ray Stantz suggested the first. [He rubs his temples, closing his eyes in resignation.] But later, we--it was proposed that we could illicit a stronger reaction from the slime if a stronger emotional reaction could be triggered by any participating party.

[As he speaks, his words grow more and more mumbled.]

[Ray just... gently rests his head on the table.]

I think I’m living in a nightmare...

[The worst part is that he can’t even say that any of this seems out of character for him.]

Nightmare, you kidding? This feels like a dream.

[Venkman pauses, and looks at the sleeping Wimpod in his lap. He deliberately pulls out a Pokeball, retracts Roach, and steeples his hands together, grinning at Egon.]

So.

How much of that change of plans was just because of science, and how much was just Ray rationalizing his way into bed with you?

[There's an uncomfortable pause.]

He made sure to ask multiple times whether I was comfortable with this arrangement.

[All Venkman can see is Egon's forehead and his hair. Good job. You've killed him.]

[Yeah Ray is just out of commission right now. Thanks Venkman you killed him.]

[That does it. Venkman starts laughing into his hands, uncontrollably and somewhat hysterically. Ray and Egon can't see his face, but his shoulders are shaking from the effort of trying to keep quiet enough to not make a scene in this restaurant.

Weirdly enough, it doesn't sound derisive. And when Venkman finally looks up, he reaches his hands out to grab Ray and Egon's hands again.]

God. I fucking love you both. You ridiculous, stupid scientists.

[Egon glances up when his hand gets grabbed, a slightly bewildered look on his face. His expression becomes a bit more neutral when he looks at Venkman, though his face is still flushed.

He then clears his throat and attempts to lift himself from his awkward sitting position, but his feet slip against the ground and he doesn't get very far. Can't use the table as leverage--that is, unless they want all of their food on the ground. Spengler pauses before quietly saying--]

I would like some assistance, please.

[Ray offers a hand to Egon, not even lifting his head from the table as he does so.

Sorry he’s still reeling a bit from these revelations.]

[Egon's predicament just makes Venkman laugh again. He lets go of their hands and stands up, coming around to Egon's side of the table to help him up. As he does so, he leans in close to Egon's ear.]

Looks like one of the universal constants across dimensions is that you look damned good when you're flustered, Egie.

[He kisses Egon's cheek before leaning away slightly and addressing both him and Ray.]

So. What a bunch of revelations today, huh? Makes me wish we'd had this mood slime back home. And I bet you wish we had, too, right Ray?

Edited 2019-02-06 05:48 (UTC)

[Egon is helped up onto his feet by Venkman (and Ray, who provided emotional support and his hand). He raises a hand to touch the cheek that Venkman kissed him before clearing his throat and smoothing down the wrinkles in his clothes.]

Thank you. [Said in a quiet tone as he sits down again and--oh.

Once Venkman says that, he lets out a resigned groan, placing his head in his hands.]

[Ray, meanwhile, Glares at Venkman.]

I'm breaking up with you, Pete.

[He's joking but >:(]

No, you're not.

[He sticks his tongue out at Ray.]

If you didn't break up with me for anything I did in college, then I'm pretty sure we're stuck with each other forever.

Especially since the two of you fucking sewer slime on the job isn't a dealbreaker for me.

[At Venkman's comment, Egon clears his throat loudly, covering his hand with his fist. His face burning, he shifts his gaze to his still unfinished food.]

May we talk about something other than the slime experiments? Anything else, please?

[he's dying]

[Ray grips Egon's hand.]

See Pete? You're making Spengs embarrassed too, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.

[Is he even being serious right now]

Implying that I have ever in my life felt shame about making one of you blush. Especially Spengs. That right there- [He points at Egon's reddened face.] that's an achievement.

But yeah, I was gonna stop, don't worry. We are still in public, after all. I can always ask more questions later. [He winks.

More seriously, Venkman actually was about to stop. No use in dragging the jokes on too far. He may love teasing his partners, but not to the point of causing them genuine discomfort.]

So Egon, you wanna hear about the time we temporarily solved all the crime in New York?

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i hate this thanks

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