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Victory Road IC Inbox
"You have reached Dr. Egon Spengler. Please leave a message, preferably fifty words or less."
"You have reached Dr. Egon Spengler. Please leave a message, preferably fifty words or less."
[Egon leans forward, scrutinizing the weird cat with interest. His eyebrows furrow as he listens to Gaige ramble on about this baby. Why didn't he pick one of these up for himself? He was probably distracted at the time about not freezing to death while walking down Route 29. Besides, things that most people would consider "fluffy" and "cute" don't always appeal to him. But the next time he sees one of these guys, he's definitely going to catch it.
After a moment, Egon takes out a PokéBall and returns Faraday. He doesn't want her being caught in whatever fallout that occurs. But he does want to see this.]
This sounds like an incredibly dangerous and ill-formed plan.
[A beat.]
I would recommend that you have a notebook and pencil on hand, in case you PokéGear malfunctions in the resulting psychic blast. If you are unable to write coherently, we will have to take what scattered words you write as evidence. I, myself, would like to take notes on the radius of whatever psychic energy emission occurs.
[He's the worst at preventing other people from doing stupid shit because SCIENCE and also he wants to know]
After a moment, Egon takes out a PokéBall and returns Faraday. He doesn't want her being caught in whatever fallout that occurs. But he does want to see this.]
This sounds like an incredibly dangerous and ill-formed plan.
[A beat.]
I would recommend that you have a notebook and pencil on hand, in case you PokéGear malfunctions in the resulting psychic blast. If you are unable to write coherently, we will have to take what scattered words you write as evidence. I, myself, would like to take notes on the radius of whatever psychic energy emission occurs.
[He's the worst at preventing other people from doing stupid shit because SCIENCE and also he wants to know]
RIGHT? Isn't it great?!
[Dangerous and ill-formed is her ENTIRE jam.]
Ooh- good idea. Lemme check. [She holds up Orel to Turtonator, off-screen.] Hey, T.T, hold him for a sec.
[Turtonator obliges, and Gaige places the PokeGear down as she digs through her bag. She tosses out some trail mix, some potions, pegs, and eventually upturns the whole thing into the snow.]
...Nope. No pencil here. Or notebook, but I could just scribble on the back of the map. Geez, I've got tiny toothpaste and not a single pen. Talk about priorities.
[She rolls her eyes, shoves everything back in the bag, and picks up the 'Gear so it's not just at a really awkward angle catching the side of Gaige's pigtail against the sky. She motions to Turtonator and scoops the Espurr back into her arm once again.]
Shouldn't be too bad, right? Like, if my brain gets scrambled entirely I can just...tell everything to T.T! Then all you have to do is build a machine that translates from Turtle to People. Simple.
[Dangerous and ill-formed is her ENTIRE jam.]
Ooh- good idea. Lemme check. [She holds up Orel to Turtonator, off-screen.] Hey, T.T, hold him for a sec.
[Turtonator obliges, and Gaige places the PokeGear down as she digs through her bag. She tosses out some trail mix, some potions, pegs, and eventually upturns the whole thing into the snow.]
...Nope. No pencil here. Or notebook, but I could just scribble on the back of the map. Geez, I've got tiny toothpaste and not a single pen. Talk about priorities.
[She rolls her eyes, shoves everything back in the bag, and picks up the 'Gear so it's not just at a really awkward angle catching the side of Gaige's pigtail against the sky. She motions to Turtonator and scoops the Espurr back into her arm once again.]
Shouldn't be too bad, right? Like, if my brain gets scrambled entirely I can just...tell everything to T.T! Then all you have to do is build a machine that translates from Turtle to People. Simple.
Pokémon are highly intelligent. If this does occur, I will be sure to use my Solosis to translate what he has to say and inform the scientific community of your contributions. This process will take several months, of course, but one must learn to be patient for results when it comes to science.
[This plan is completely fool proof! He pulls out his own notebook and pencil, which is already filled with So Many sticky notes and ramblings about Pokémon biology.]
I will, of course, take my own notes of what will occur, though they will be limited to visual and audio observations. Please eliminate any possible external factors from this experiment, such as psychic interference from your own mind or any other Pokémon in the area.
[If this was his own experiment, he'd try and be in as sterile an environment as possible, but sometimes, you have to make sacrifices to get results.]
Whenever you are ready, we can proceed.
[This plan is completely fool proof! He pulls out his own notebook and pencil, which is already filled with So Many sticky notes and ramblings about Pokémon biology.]
I will, of course, take my own notes of what will occur, though they will be limited to visual and audio observations. Please eliminate any possible external factors from this experiment, such as psychic interference from your own mind or any other Pokémon in the area.
[If this was his own experiment, he'd try and be in as sterile an environment as possible, but sometimes, you have to make sacrifices to get results.]
Whenever you are ready, we can proceed.
Right, right. Probably should put T.T. in his ball for this. For the whole psychic interference thing and...so he doesn't get his head exploded.
Not that that's going to happen.
Probably.
[She sounds kind of conflicted at the prospect. On the one hand, bad-ass. On the other hand, she kind of wants to not die? She holds up the pokeball and Turtonator returns in a flash of red light. She pops it in her belt and places the PokeGear down on a nearby rock, angling it upwards.
She steps backwards, not too far, but enough that her whole body can fit in frame.]
Okay! Uh, if you're recording this - which, you probably should if something super cool happens that can't be captured on paper - it's the tenth of January, test subject's name's Gaige, and this is The All-Seeing Orel Fluffington III, etcetera, etcetera, whatever, who cares - are you ready to DO THIS?
Not that that's going to happen.
Probably.
[She sounds kind of conflicted at the prospect. On the one hand, bad-ass. On the other hand, she kind of wants to not die? She holds up the pokeball and Turtonator returns in a flash of red light. She pops it in her belt and places the PokeGear down on a nearby rock, angling it upwards.
She steps backwards, not too far, but enough that her whole body can fit in frame.]
Okay! Uh, if you're recording this - which, you probably should if something super cool happens that can't be captured on paper - it's the tenth of January, test subject's name's Gaige, and this is The All-Seeing Orel Fluffington III, etcetera, etcetera, whatever, who cares - are you ready to DO THIS?
Living is just a mentality.
[He seems...100% serious about this. He almost blasted his own hand off when he was testing the proton packs, and that never stopped him. Even if this experiment goes south, she can tell him about her experiences as a ghost, right?
Egon watches carefully, his pencil poised above his paper.]
Ready. Start the experiment.
[He seems...100% serious about this. He almost blasted his own hand off when he was testing the proton packs, and that never stopped him. Even if this experiment goes south, she can tell him about her experiences as a ghost, right?
Egon watches carefully, his pencil poised above his paper.]
Ready. Start the experiment.
Let's GO! It's time to explore the unexplored, know the unknowable, FLIP THE UNFLIPPABLE EARS-
[In actions that don't quite match the theatrics, she sits the Espurr on her lap and moves to flip up both ears at once. The creature waggles its nubby arms at her in protest, but, by tragedy of evolution, they're too short to make any kind of difference.
Soon enough, the ears are unfolded.
What comes first is perfect, total silence. Then, suddenly, there is a heavy sound, dropping through the ears to a deep pit in the body, weighing down the soul itself.
The feed buzzes and blurs, colors melding into each other and abstracting in a number of ways, only a handful comprehensible to the human mind.
By the time the video returns to normal, Gaige is collapsed in the snow, Espurr sitting beside body, unblinking.]
[In actions that don't quite match the theatrics, she sits the Espurr on her lap and moves to flip up both ears at once. The creature waggles its nubby arms at her in protest, but, by tragedy of evolution, they're too short to make any kind of difference.
Soon enough, the ears are unfolded.
What comes first is perfect, total silence. Then, suddenly, there is a heavy sound, dropping through the ears to a deep pit in the body, weighing down the soul itself.
The feed buzzes and blurs, colors melding into each other and abstracting in a number of ways, only a handful comprehensible to the human mind.
By the time the video returns to normal, Gaige is collapsed in the snow, Espurr sitting beside body, unblinking.]
Edited 2019-01-10 22:27 (UTC)
[Egon jumps at the sound, then at the feed sparking and abstracting. He frowns, flicking the screen to try and restore it. The PokéDex wasn't lying when it said that a massive amount of psychic energy was stored in its ears--only something tremendously powerful would be able to tamper with technology this advanced. If only he still had his PKE meter on hand--if he was there in person, he'd be able to get a solid measurement on the exact density of psychokinetic energy per square meter.
Ah. Well. That seems to be a problem.]
Gaige?
[When she doesn't respond, he clears his throat and looks towards the unblinking Espurr. What was it's name, again?]
Mister...Orel, if you will please describe to me what just occurred?
Ah. Well. That seems to be a problem.]
Gaige?
[When she doesn't respond, he clears his throat and looks towards the unblinking Espurr. What was it's name, again?]
Mister...Orel, if you will please describe to me what just occurred?
Edited 2019-01-10 22:32 (UTC)
[Orel, who had been gazing into the distance beside Gaige, slowly turns his head towards the screen.
And, for once, both his eyes focus on the same point.
He stares directly at Egon, right into his soul.]
And, for once, both his eyes focus on the same point.
He stares directly at Egon, right into his soul.]
[Egon finds himself deeply unsettled by this sudden change in the Espurr's behavior, as if the creature's judgmental eyes were sifting through the very contents of his being. As if this fuzzy little monster could, and would, reeve his soul in two and still not be satisfied with his puny existence.
After a few moments, Spengler nods and jots few notes down in his notebook.]
Thank you for your invaluable input. I always try to take information from primary sources.
[When he finishes, he looks back up at the screen.]
Gaige?
After a few moments, Spengler nods and jots few notes down in his notebook.]
Thank you for your invaluable input. I always try to take information from primary sources.
[When he finishes, he looks back up at the screen.]
Gaige?
[Orel doesn't blink - whether he can't or simply chooses not to is one of the mysteries left to the universe - but slightly bows his head in a short nod.
After what feels like a few minutes of her laying in the snow, Gaige begins to stir to life. What starts as a pained groan quickly becomes an intense yell, and she bolts up with mechanical rigidity, limbs trembling with an uncontainable energy.]
I...CAN...SEE...EVERYTHING! [Her eyes wide, flashing a brighter green than her goggles can contain.] I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA! I DEAL DEATH! I AM THE INFINITE! [She throws her head back with a maniacal cackle.] I am getting a God complex and I LIKE IT!
[She wasn't just firing on all cylinders, she's firing on cylinders she never had before. Information was flooding to her brain with a speed she couldn't keep up with, feeling every synapse response, hot and electrifying. It was happening almost too much, too fast, sending a machine into overload -
And so, like a circuitboard fried, she shuts down, collapsing face-first into the snow once more.]
After what feels like a few minutes of her laying in the snow, Gaige begins to stir to life. What starts as a pained groan quickly becomes an intense yell, and she bolts up with mechanical rigidity, limbs trembling with an uncontainable energy.]
I...CAN...SEE...EVERYTHING! [Her eyes wide, flashing a brighter green than her goggles can contain.] I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA! I DEAL DEATH! I AM THE INFINITE! [She throws her head back with a maniacal cackle.] I am getting a God complex and I LIKE IT!
[She wasn't just firing on all cylinders, she's firing on cylinders she never had before. Information was flooding to her brain with a speed she couldn't keep up with, feeling every synapse response, hot and electrifying. It was happening almost too much, too fast, sending a machine into overload -
And so, like a circuitboard fried, she shuts down, collapsing face-first into the snow once more.]
[Oh, good. She didn't die. Egon was vaguely worried that he might be held responsible for the death of a teenager. Only vaguely. She's an adult and can make her own decisions, and he's not one to police that, especially when it comes to science.
He proceeds to speak in a completely unconcerned tone--]
I see, I see. As I suspected, the residual psychic energy blast resulted in a rapid escalation of brain activity. I--
[Aaand she's down for the count again. Egon pauses for a moment, raising an eyebrow before writing down another note--"GOD COMPLEX" and "BIBLE VERSES IN OTHER DIMENSIONS"]
Hm. Yes. Thank you for participating in this thrilling experiment.
He proceeds to speak in a completely unconcerned tone--]
I see, I see. As I suspected, the residual psychic energy blast resulted in a rapid escalation of brain activity. I--
[Aaand she's down for the count again. Egon pauses for a moment, raising an eyebrow before writing down another note--"GOD COMPLEX" and "BIBLE VERSES IN OTHER DIMENSIONS"]
Hm. Yes. Thank you for participating in this thrilling experiment.
[Her next bout of unconsciousness is considerably more brief than the last, and she groggily mumbles into the snow, heaving a metal thumbs up.
Give her a moment, and she'll slooowwwly push herself up.]
Uuuuuugh my brain feels like reheated barf. [Deep inhale. Exhale.] Whoof.
[Orel turns his head over to her, and waddles back to sit in her arms and stare at the camera in two directions.]
How'd we do, doc? Feels like all my chakras are...I'm not gonna pretend like I know what a chakra is.
Give her a moment, and she'll slooowwwly push herself up.]
Uuuuuugh my brain feels like reheated barf. [Deep inhale. Exhale.] Whoof.
[Orel turns his head over to her, and waddles back to sit in her arms and stare at the camera in two directions.]
How'd we do, doc? Feels like all my chakras are...I'm not gonna pretend like I know what a chakra is.
That seems to be the general reaction to having experienced an extreme psychokinetic blast. Are you experiencing any change in brain function or memory problems?
[Egon taps the pencil against his chin, ruminating over his notes.]
Overall, you do not appear to be dead, and we now have a significant amount of information about the psychic capabilities of Espurr. I would consider this trial to be a success. I can send you a text file of these observations. Of course, there is the question of future trials under alternate conditions, but those can wait until I get a hand of a PKE meter.
[Egon taps the pencil against his chin, ruminating over his notes.]
Overall, you do not appear to be dead, and we now have a significant amount of information about the psychic capabilities of Espurr. I would consider this trial to be a success. I can send you a text file of these observations. Of course, there is the question of future trials under alternate conditions, but those can wait until I get a hand of a PKE meter.
Does feeling like my brain's melted count?
[She places her palm on Espurr's head to steady herself.]
That's- that's all pretty awesome but - [She blinks wearily, and attempts to stare at the camera.] - did it look cool?
[She places her palm on Espurr's head to steady herself.]
That's- that's all pretty awesome but - [She blinks wearily, and attempts to stare at the camera.] - did it look cool?
Yes.
[Egon pauses, then scratches out a few numbers on his notebook. He's...not really a very good judge when it comes to "coolness" factor, but he'll try. He taps his pencil against his chin, then quirks an eyebrow and looks towards the camera.]
It was very likely the most interesting psychic explosion that I have ever witnessed. Thus, it looked very cool.
[There's your confirmation, Gaige!]
[Egon pauses, then scratches out a few numbers on his notebook. He's...not really a very good judge when it comes to "coolness" factor, but he'll try. He taps his pencil against his chin, then quirks an eyebrow and looks towards the camera.]
It was very likely the most interesting psychic explosion that I have ever witnessed. Thus, it looked very cool.
[There's your confirmation, Gaige!]
HELL yeah! - ow, ow, ow.
[Gaige had pumped her fist in the air in triumph but yelling so loudly kind of aggravated the whole brain soup she's got going on, and so quickly retracts it to cradle her forehead.
She directs her attention to Orel now.]
Oh man, I knew you were gonna be a hardcore killer when I saw you. It's the eyes. [She looks back over to Egon.] We can probably go for bigger psychic explosions than that, though, right? If I train his mind with spoons or sudoku or whatever.
[Gaige had pumped her fist in the air in triumph but yelling so loudly kind of aggravated the whole brain soup she's got going on, and so quickly retracts it to cradle her forehead.
She directs her attention to Orel now.]
Oh man, I knew you were gonna be a hardcore killer when I saw you. It's the eyes. [She looks back over to Egon.] We can probably go for bigger psychic explosions than that, though, right? If I train his mind with spoons or sudoku or whatever.
[Egon frowns slightly in concern.]
Of course. However, I would recommend you first take the time to recover your brain cells, perhaps by eating copious amounts of fish.
[A pause. His eyes seem to glint with a hint of excitement.] Then, we can get to the bigger psychic explosions. Keep track of your progress on training Mr. Orel. I look forward to seeing what else this creature is capable of.
Of course. However, I would recommend you first take the time to recover your brain cells, perhaps by eating copious amounts of fish.
[A pause. His eyes seem to glint with a hint of excitement.] Then, we can get to the bigger psychic explosions. Keep track of your progress on training Mr. Orel. I look forward to seeing what else this creature is capable of.
Got it!
[In spite of how mentally blasted she feels, she’s brimming with excitement. All this? INCREDIBLY cool. She’s got mindmelting kittens to research and a super cool mentor to help her along the way. Turns out not being on Pandora anymore wasn’t half bad.
Though, along that train of thought, she does have one more question.]
Uh, do we...have...fish here?
[In spite of how mentally blasted she feels, she’s brimming with excitement. All this? INCREDIBLY cool. She’s got mindmelting kittens to research and a super cool mentor to help her along the way. Turns out not being on Pandora anymore wasn’t half bad.
Though, along that train of thought, she does have one more question.]
Uh, do we...have...fish here?
[Egon hesitates, rubbing his chin with his thumb. He stays silent for an uncomfortable period of time as he thinks. Finally, he settles on saying--]
I have seen restaurants serving sushi.
[That...doesn't really answer Gaige's question.]
If you would like, I could give you my current dissertation on what I believe to be the viable source of meat products this dimension.
I have seen restaurants serving sushi.
[That...doesn't really answer Gaige's question.]
If you would like, I could give you my current dissertation on what I believe to be the viable source of meat products this dimension.
[Waking up back in his own body again for the first time since Monday should come as a relief. And for the most part, it is!
There is the brief, crushing sense of loss when Venkman realizes he's alone again- sure, being stuck in the wrong body made it kind of weird, but. Listen. Dating the same men for over a decade and barely being apart in all that time, then suddenly waking up in a whole new dimension, with them on another continent- it's a lot to take in stride.
Still, the relief at being himself again- he'd genuinely started to worry about the possibility of being trapped forever- is overwhelming, and he's about to call up Spengler and Ray when he notices his bed.
Or, rather, the six eggs arranged in a circle on his bed, wrapped up with care in a blanket nest. Bond is sitting on top of the eggs, but she's... different, now. Bigger. Luca waves cheerily from the pillow she's been resting on beside her eggs. The Inkay that Egon "borrowed" floats nearby.
Before Venkman can even begin to comprehend all of this, he feels something on his leg. Something wet and slimy and disgustingly familiar. Very slowly, he looks down to meet the dopey eyes of Ray's parting gift.
... Within minutes of getting exorcised from Venkman's body, Spengler gets the following audio message, loud enough to make anyone in the area cringe:]
EGON, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WHILE IN MY BODY?
There is the brief, crushing sense of loss when Venkman realizes he's alone again- sure, being stuck in the wrong body made it kind of weird, but. Listen. Dating the same men for over a decade and barely being apart in all that time, then suddenly waking up in a whole new dimension, with them on another continent- it's a lot to take in stride.
Still, the relief at being himself again- he'd genuinely started to worry about the possibility of being trapped forever- is overwhelming, and he's about to call up Spengler and Ray when he notices his bed.
Or, rather, the six eggs arranged in a circle on his bed, wrapped up with care in a blanket nest. Bond is sitting on top of the eggs, but she's... different, now. Bigger. Luca waves cheerily from the pillow she's been resting on beside her eggs. The Inkay that Egon "borrowed" floats nearby.
Before Venkman can even begin to comprehend all of this, he feels something on his leg. Something wet and slimy and disgustingly familiar. Very slowly, he looks down to meet the dopey eyes of Ray's parting gift.
... Within minutes of getting exorcised from Venkman's body, Spengler gets the following audio message, loud enough to make anyone in the area cringe:]
EGON, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WHILE IN MY BODY?
| | [Egon had switched into Ray's body and hardly has time to regain his bearings when he receives the message. He winces at Venkman's voice, instinctively jerking his head back from the PokéGear. After a moment or two to think of what he did, exactly, he clears his throat and responds--] I paired the Inkay with your Squirtle, Luca, to see if they would produce any eggs. I monitored them carefully to see if I could record the process, but...during my fourteen minute resting period, they somehow spontaneously produced six eggs. [...That sounds like Ray, because it is. Only if Ray had all the emotion sapped out of his voice.] |
... You're not even back in your own body. Oh God. What the hell-
[Venkman rakes his hand through his hair. He sounds... furious, honestly. And a little scared.]
Egon, you told me you would return the Inkay. I have six eggs now that came from someone's STOLEN PET!
[He sits down on the edge of the bed, forcing himself to take a shaky breath. In, and out. In and out. He can't keep yelling at Egon. He can't-]
... WAIT, NO WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHIT, YOU'VE STILL BEEN ONLY SLEEPING FOURTEEN MINUTES IN MY BODY?
[Venkman rakes his hand through his hair. He sounds... furious, honestly. And a little scared.]
Egon, you told me you would return the Inkay. I have six eggs now that came from someone's STOLEN PET!
[He sits down on the edge of the bed, forcing himself to take a shaky breath. In, and out. In and out. He can't keep yelling at Egon. He can't-]
... WAIT, NO WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHIT, YOU'VE STILL BEEN ONLY SLEEPING FOURTEEN MINUTES IN MY BODY?
| | [There's an uncomfortable pause.] Oh. [Another pause.] I...forgot about that. I'm sorry. [Well, if it's any consolation, he seems genuinely regretful about it? It's even more difficult to tell what Egon is feeling, since...it's technically Ray speaking right now. He winces again, ] Please be quiet, you'll wake up Ray. [Subtly dodging the responsibility that he's only been sleeping fourteen minutes in Venkman's body.] If possible, can you ask Luca to identify which eggs are Squirtle eggs and which ones are Inkay eggs? |
You forgot- you forgot, Spengs, I could get arrested for this. We don't even know what they'd do to the eggs- confiscated, probably, unless I hide them- I can't believe you didn't get arrested already in my body, the guy must not want to go to the police for whatever reason, but- Spengler-
... Oh, yeah, speaking of Ray, is he the one to blame for the little fucking slime monster on my leg? Because, yeah, that was the other thing I wanted to talk about. Because I wouldn't put it past ya to get me a fucking slime creature just to mess with me, but only Ray would put a "Slimer Jr." nametag and stickers on the containment unit.
[Slimer Jr. burbles softly and lovingly as he caresses Venkman's leg. Venkman shudders.]
Also, Luca heard you. There's two eggs that'll look like her. That help?
[He's slowly calming down to the point of no longer shouting, but Venkman is still very clearly pissed. The Inkay has moved to hide behind Luca, who pats him gently and makes reassuring clicking sounds.]
... Oh, yeah, speaking of Ray, is he the one to blame for the little fucking slime monster on my leg? Because, yeah, that was the other thing I wanted to talk about. Because I wouldn't put it past ya to get me a fucking slime creature just to mess with me, but only Ray would put a "Slimer Jr." nametag and stickers on the containment unit.
[Slimer Jr. burbles softly and lovingly as he caresses Venkman's leg. Venkman shudders.]
Also, Luca heard you. There's two eggs that'll look like her. That help?
[He's slowly calming down to the point of no longer shouting, but Venkman is still very clearly pissed. The Inkay has moved to hide behind Luca, who pats him gently and makes reassuring clicking sounds.]
| | I've been staying in your room for the past two days. I have taken the courtesy of wiring myself money from my own account in order to order take-out. [Still, he's not going to leave Venkman to face the consequences of his mistakes.] Perhaps if I wrote up an extensive explanation as to what occurred and that you were not directly responsible for any of my mistakes? Would he accept that? ...Ah. That would explain why he messaged me while in your body about not saying anything about your new Pokémon. I was wondering what that was all about. [There's your answer, Venkman.] I am unsure why he would name a Poison Pokémon after the Segewick ghost in your dimension--it is quite tangible and-- [He hears the squelching noises and pauses.] Oh. Oh, I see. |
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